


Circus

by reddiegays



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Circus, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Married Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Parenthood, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie and Eddie are good parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 21:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddiegays/pseuds/reddiegays
Summary: April Kaspbrak-Tozier wants to go to the circus





	Circus

**Author's Note:**

> I've never been to a circus but I hope that doesn't show too much :)

April had dropped the bombshell one day after school, without warning or hesitation. She was sitting atop the kitchen counter, watching her father make dinner and listening to his terrible jokes, when she suddenly blurted it out.

“I want to go to the circus!”

“What?” Richie was so shocked he forgot the oven mitt as he grabbed the pan from the stove, dropping it on the floor with a cry of pain, “OW, FUCK!”

April watched her usually silly Dad clatter about, running his hand under the cold water tap; he was shaking and he looked rather upset. April wondered what she had done wrong.

“Are you okay, Dada?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine...” Richie smiled forcefully, wrapping a tea towel around his painfully throbbing hand. Still shaking, he crouched down and hugged April tightly; he couldn’t stop his voice shaking as he spoke, “I’ve never been better.”

“Okay,” April said although she was very confused. She hadn’t seen her Dad like this since that time Daddy accidentally ate a peanut. She patted his back supportively, even if she didn’t know why, “you can get a balloon, if you want, Dada.”

If he was crying, Richie never said so.

* * *

April was safely tucked up in bed when Eddie arrived home from work. The first thing he noticed was the mess in the kitchen - an empty pizza box was left on the counter, their Pomeranian, Stanley, licked at the remains of the dinner on the floor, and Richie sat on the floor with his back to the sink; he was staring at his hand where once the scar of the blood pact had been. Eddie dropped his briefcase, slowly approaching his husband ; he spotted the red burn wound on his hand and dropped to his side.

“What happened, Rich?” He took Richie’s hand in his, turning it over tenderly to inspect it, “did you treat this properly? The last thing we want-”

“I’m fine, Eds,” he mumbled, his throat dry and scratchy; it was clear he’d been crying. Eddie settled by his side and pulled him closer until Richie’s head rested against his shoulder. He soothingly stroked his hair.

“Are you going to tell me what happened or are we gonna play twenty fucking questions all night?”

There was no delicate way around the subject. “April wants to go to the circus. Fucking clowns, cotton candy, popcorn, shitty rides. The works.”

Richie could feel Eddie’s arm tighten around him just slightly and the hand that had been stroking his hair stopped completely. After a few minutes, Eddie sighed deeply.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

Eddie held his hand, squeezing gently as he pressed a kiss into Richie’s hair, “do you remember what we talked about when I left the Hospital in Derry?” Richie groaned, about to protest about leaving the past in the past when Eddie shushed him, “it’s okay, Rich. We said whatever happened, we’d be there for each other. We both knew this day was bound to happen when we decided to be parents.”

"I know I know IT’s dead...but what it did to us, babe,” he spread his hand across Eddie’s chest where the scarring remained from the stab wound he’d gotten from Pennywise. Eddie covered his hand and Richie breathed deeply, “what are we gonna do?”

“I dunno,” Eddie stood slowly, pulling Richie up with him and pouring him a glass of water, “we can’t not go with her.”

“No shit. She’ll be heartbroken,” Richie said, drinking the water quickly and wishing it was something stronger. He ran a hand through his hair and allowed Eddie to lead him through to their bedroom.

“We’ll do anything for her, Rich.”

“Yeah...” Richie said, distracted slightly by Eddie undressing him carefully; he watched him disappear to start the shower. He eagerly stepped under the warm spray of water, exhaling deeply, “okay, if we’re going to do this, we’re doing it properly. This is our shit to deal with and we’re going to own it.”

He felt Eddie join him shortly, hugging him from behind. He turned around in his arms and pressed their foreheads together, holding each other close.

“I love you.”

Eddie smiled, “I love you, too.”

* * *

The following evening during dinner, Richie and Eddie decided they needed to have an important yet delicate conversation with their daughter; they waited until she was quite happily enjoying her dessert - the last thing they wanted to do was freak her out.

“April, there’s something you need to know about us. Before we go to the circus...” Eddie started somewhat awkwardly, clutching Richie’s hand for support, “something happened to me and your Dad a long time ago...and it messed us up. Big time.”

“We’re talking ‘no amount of fucking therapy can get us through this shit’ trauma,” Richie added and April noticed his hands were shaking again. She nodded slowly, not wanting to interrupt.

“We were in a sort of club. And in this club we...we were special. We stuck together through everything. Us, Uncle Ben and Aunt Bev, Uncle Bill, Uncle Mike and Uncle Stan.”

“There was a crazy guy, killed a bunch of kids. Tried to kill us. We had to stop this...thing, right?” Richie continued, earning him a look from Eddie - they’d agreed not to be too graphic. He sighed, “thirty years ago, we faced the monster. Only, didn’t kill it. And we promised to come back to finish the job.”

“Which we did, a few years ago,” Eddie carried on, trying to search for the right thing to say, “we’d forgotten about each other, our childhood together, the club. When me and your Dad met again...I was with someone else-”

“You married someone else?” April said incredulously, unable to contain her shock. She knew her parents were in love and always assumed they’d been together forever. For some reason, Richie was smirking.

“A woman, hon,” April pressed a hand to her mouth, doing a better job at suppressing her giggles than her father. Eddie scowled at the pair of them, folding his arms.

“Yeah, yeah, shut up. The point is when we found each other again, we fell in love quickly,” Eddie was still scowling at Richie but there was fondness in his eyes, “we planned to run away together but the...monster, we had to stop it. I was hurt...” there was no point in going into detail. April didn’t need to know how Richie practically dragged him out of Neibolt, how long he spent in Hospital and the mess with Myra. He continued, “slowly, we healed. Together. Your Dad saved my life.”

“You saved my fucking life!” Richie suddenly exclaimed, gesturing around, “you gave me a life. I’m nothing without you two.”

April jumped down from her seat, hurrying over to hug her Dad; Richie lifted her into his arms gratefully, Eddie stroked her hair softly.

“You’re probably wondering what this has to do with the circus and one day we’ll tell you properly. We went through a lot and we’re here because of it. We’re Losers.”

Richie caught Eddie’s eye and smiled, grasping his hand, “yup. Big capital ‘L’ Losers. And we always will be.”

“Can I be a Loser?” April asked, looking up at her parents expectantly. They smiled and Richie scratched his chin, mock thinking.

“Hmm, I don’t know, little one. You look much to cool to be a Loser. What say you, Spaghetti Man?”

Eddie rolled his eyes at the ridiculous nickname and lifted April into his lap, brushing the hair from her face, “I don’t know. Not anyone can be a Loser. You ever been picked on? Made to feel like an outcast? Felt different to your peers?”

“I have two dads. One of them has a fashion sense that is an insult to the gay community and the other actually might die if he eats a nut.”

Eddie and Richie glared at each other over April’s shoulder, narrowing their eyes; clearly they’d been talking shit behind the other’s back. After a moment, Richie patted April’s head.

“Welcome to the Losers Club, kid.”

* * *

“Okay, April,” Richie said the morning of their planned circus trip. He had never been so nervous but he wasn’t about to spoil the day for April, “um, about your Dad...when he sees a clown, there is a high possibility he will scream,” Richie plastered a huge false smile across his face, “and that’s okay.”

“That’s weird,” April said, zipping up her coat, “Daddy said the same thing about you. But he said you might throw up. And that’s okay, too.”

“Right,” Richie paused, crouching down to lift April into his arms. He booped her nose softly, making her giggle, “April, honey, I need you to do something for me. Your Dad means a lot to me - I know, understatement, right? - it’s just, I almost lost him once-”

“It’s okay, Dada,” April murmured, burying her face into Richie’s neck. He nodded, ruffling her hair sweetly.

“I need you...if you see him getting a bit worked up or panicky and shit, just tell him how much you love him. We need to look after him, okay? Do you think you can help me do that?” April nodded and Richie kissed her cheek, “that’s my girl.”

“Who’s going to look after you?”

Richie gently set his daughter back onto the ground and tickled her chin lovingly, “protecting your Dad is looking after me. Now go choose a snack for the ride.”

As she skipped off to the kitchen, Eddie staggered downstairs, struggling to stand courtesy of the huge rucksack on his back. Rolling his eyes, Richie helped ease it off his back before opening it up.

“Dude...” the bag was piled with several changes of clothes for the three of them, packets and packets of bandages, dozens of pill bottles, inhalers, and a couple of heavy metal pipes. Richie shook his head, “I get it, man, I do. But you hit a clown with one of those, you’re doing time.”

Eddie was visibly tense, holding himself tightly, “I know. I just want to be prepared. I’m scared, Rich.”

“Me, too, Eds. We’re not going to let her out of sight, okay? And the only clowns there are the normal not child-eating kind.”

“We’re never gonna get over this, are we?” Eddie said, running a shaky hand through his hair, “are we going to be like this with our grandchildren?”

“Of course not. We’ll be dead by then.” He grinned and Eddie couldn’t help but smile, accepting Richie’s hug gratefully, “you wanna take all that shit, that’s okay. I’m here, dumbass, I’ll always be here. I’m never gonna leave your hot ass.”

“Hot and dumb?”

“The perfect combination,” Richie said cheekily, dodging Eddie’s swatting hand. He pressed a quick kiss to his lips - apparently not quick enough as the next thing they heard was April’s disgusted voice.

“EW!”

“Alright, young lady, let’s get you in the car,” Eddie said fondly, scooping her into his arms leaving Richie to drag the rucksack of supplies to the car.

* * *

The circus wasn’t as bad as they’d first feared. It was much worse. They’d barely stepped into the blasted place before they were hounded by strangers, each requesting they purchase several items. Richie clutched April tightly in his arm, gripping Eddie’s hand with his free one. They’d been surprised by a clown saying ‘do you want a balloon?’ just once; Eddie had only screamed for three minutes and Richie shouted every swear word he knew, seriously fighting the urge to drop kick the poor man who just trying to do his job. They were currently slumped on a bench as April enjoyed some cotton candy - Richie had to work up the courage three times to ask the extremely face-painted lady for it.

“Are you having a good time, honey?” Eddie asked, already exhausted when in reality they had barely been there half an hour. April nodded, her lips painted with the sugary treat. Eddie nodded, practically hiding beneath the table at this point, “oh, good. Because I feel like I’ve aged thirty fucking years in like a minute.”

“What’s Dad doing?” April asked, watching Richie talking to a random woman with her own child. She looked freaked out as Richie gesticulated wildly, pointing at the balloon clown.

“I think he’s trying to pay that woman to get you a balloon.”

April watched as the woman doused Richie with the remains of her drink before storming off. She frowned, “some people are really mean.”

“I don’t know what the problem is with people these days,” Eddie said; now he had slid completely under the bench. He peered between the benches, holding April’s waist tightly, “anyone would think we’re freaks or something.”

“Not freaks. Just Losers.”

Richie joined them again, brushing himself down and dabbing himself with napkins. He sat beside April, leaving a bit of a gap for Eddie to peer through, “fucking arrogant bitch. All I said was ‘would you be so kind as to buy a balloon for my daughter. I have really bad...what’s the word?”

“Coulrophobia.”

“No, dude, like a fear of clowns,” he said, wiping his glasses on his jacket. Richie shook his head, clearly still pissed off, “so she said ‘then why are you here jackass?’ and I said ‘some of us are still willing to do anything for our kids instead of just trying to get under the nearest available man.’”

“I amazed she wasn’t insulted,” Eddie murmured, his eyes scanning the many people that passed giving them dirty looks. April patted Richie’s hand and smiled.

“That’s okay, Dada, I didn’t want a balloon anyway,” she finished her cotton candy, happily licking her lips before climbing onto Richie’s lap, “can we go on the Ferris wheel? Please? Pretty please?”

Richie glanced down at Eddie who was already looking up at him. He shrugged, “what the fuck, man, we might as well. We’re already here.”

“I’m scared of heights, dumbass.”

“Then stay on the ground, all on your own,” he stood up, crouching down to allow April to jump onto his back for a piggy back. Eddie sighed, crawling out from under the bench. He brushed himself down and took Richie’s hand, eyes still scanning his surroundings. Richie was the first to spot the house of mirrors; he swallowed, muttering out of the corner of his mouth, “Eds...”

“I know. Pray she doesn’t see it.”

* * *

Not ten minutes later, the three of them were seated rather uncomfortably in the Ferris wheel. The thing was rather rickety and creaked a tad too much for Eddie’s liking but there wasn’t a clown in sight - it was the most relaxed he had been all evening. April seemed to have inherited her father’s aptitude for heights, halfway around she squeezed her eyes shut and held tightly for dear life, Eddie doing the same beside her. Richie rolled his eyes fondly at his family, wondering how he got so lucky even though right now his stress levels needed a fucking spa holiday. Their hopes of April growing tired of the festivities died quickly as she happily munched popcorn, got herself a cool tiger face-paint and now she was pulling her parents over to an inflatable castle.

“Can I have a go, Daddy, please?” She tugged his hand, flashing her puppy dog eyes that, unfortunately for Richie and Eddie, worked on both of them all the time. Eddie glanced at his watch and hesitated.

“It’s getting late...” he watched April’s shoulders droop sadly and quickly added, “you’ll have to make it quick, honey.”

April jumped excitedly, hurrying to kick her shoes off as Richie paid the cheery attendant.

“Ah, you’ll love it little one,” the older man rasped, shoving the money into his pocket, “it feels like you’re floating. You want to float, don’t you, April?”

Richie dropped his wallet and sent coins cascading everywhere but he didn’t care, he was too busy staring at the attendant. Eddie’s eyes were wide and he’d taken several steps backward.

“What did you say?” Richie asked somewhat desperately. Eddie snapped out of his trance, hurrying over to collect April, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Uh, Rich, maybe we should go?” Eddie was white as a sheet, trying to balance a confused April on his knee to put her shoes back on. Richie gestured at him to be quiet.

“No, how do you know her name?”

“What?” The attendant laughed, looking between the bizarre family members. he pointed a grubby finger at Richie, “you said it to her, pal!”

Richie felt sure he was going to throw up, “no, no I didn’t...”

“Come on, man,” the attendant continued, laughing more to himself than to any of the crowd that had gathered to watch what they thought was famous comedian Richie Tozier’s imminent breakdown, “if you join in you’ll float, too.”

He felt Eddie tugging at his arm, trying to pull him away but he saw red; Richie seized the other man’s sweaty shirt and pointed aggressively, “FUCK YOU! I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE!”

“Richie!” Eddie whirled him around forcefully, pointing up at the inflatable castle. The name _Infloatable Castle_ lit up above the ride. Richie looked around, swallowing thickly; he ran a hand over his face, trying to calm himself down.

“Nothing to see here, people. Sorry about the...” he gestured, bending down to pick up his wallet. Richie gave a weak smile to the bewildered ride attendant, “shitty name, dude. Really. It doesn’t even make sense.”

With a final dismissive wave, he hurried off to join his family at the car.

* * *

April snoozed happily, clutching her new cuddly bear Eddie had won her to apologise for dragging her away from the inflatable castle ride; he had explained that Richie’s public tirade had come from a place of genuine fear and panic and that the media would give him a hard time over the next few weeks. In that moment, they both vowed to be their for him. Eddie glanced at Richie and gently patted his leg.

“I’m proud of you.”

Richie smiled, placing his hand over Eddie’s, “I’m proud of you, too,” he let out a long, deep breath ruffling his hair, “did I imagine that? What happened with that guy? I thought...I really thought...”

“Shh,” Eddie said soothingly, stroking Richie’s thigh supportively, “we made it. I don’t think I can love you anymore than I do now, Richie.”

After a moment or two, Richie swerved the car and carefully pulled over onto the side of the road; he broke down onto the steering wheel not thirty seconds later. Eddie unbuckled his seat belt and shuffled over, holding Richie as best as he could. When he was able, Richie lifted his head and wiped his eyes.

“Eddie, will you marry me?”

“We are married,” Eddie furrowed his brow in confusion which only grew as Richie shook his head, fresh tears still falling.

“Let’s do it again. So many things have changed and we have April with us now. She’ll love it.,” he rested his forehead against Eddie’s, breathing slowly and calmly, “I love you so much. What do you say?”

“I love you, too,” Eddie whispered softly, feeling his own tears begin to well up, “as long as we’re not getting married in a circus, of course I’ll marry you.”

“Babe, it’s us...” Richie said, delicately bringing Eddie’s wedding ring finger to his lips and kissing it softly, “clowns or not, it’ll be a circus.”

“I’m not wearing a dress,” April said, poking her head between them and rubbing her eyes sleepily. Richie smirked.

“Aww, hear that, Eds, looks like you’ll be the only one.”

As Richie and April laughed, Eddie narrowed his eyes at the pair of them, wondering how on Earth he got so incredibly lucky.


End file.
